ADHD and family

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Syndrome, Fidgety Phil Syndrome, Psychoorganic Syndrome (POS), Hyperactivity Syndrome, Hyperkinetic Syndrome (HKS), Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, ADHD, Attention – Deficit – Hyperactivity – Disorder (ADHD), minimal brain syndrome, behavioral disorder with attention and concentration disorder, Fidgety Phil, ADHD. The listing of the various symptom fields of ADHD makes it clear that the resulting consequences also burden the family of the ADHD child. Without the family, which also offers important support for the therapy, the ADHD child is helpless in the face of his or her problems.

In this respect, the members of a family and especially the parents will be required to show a lot of perseverance. It is by no means enough for the diagnosis to be based on the verdict “ADHD”. Although the problems will then have a name and many things may be easier to understand and interpret, the diagnosis is the beginning of a long path of therapy.

After the diagnosis it is first of all necessary to bundle all information and to design an individual therapy according to the child’s problems, abilities and skills. In technical terminology, ADHD-specific therapy is referred to as individual and multimodal, which implies that a therapy must be found that is tailored to the child and combines different areas of therapy. Rarely or never can an ADHD therapy be one-sided, so that with a drug therapy alone, for example, only the basic conditions can be created that enable the child to work together on other conspicuous symptom fields. A fundamental condition for the success of specific forms of therapy is that there is a relationship of trust between the child and the therapist/doctor as well as between parents and the therapist/doctor. Only in this way can it be guaranteed that basic and newly learned contents are not only learned during therapy, but also have to be continued and practiced at home.

Familial accumulation

Why ADHD cases occur more frequently in some cases can be answered spontaneously with two hypotheses. Today we know that ADHD symptoms are due to the altered functioning of the brain and that an imbalance in the messenger substances can ultimately be held responsible for the occurrence of various symptoms. An ADHD symptomatology can therefore not only be based on education.

However, it is also known that, especially in the case of ADHD, an inconsistent and inconsistent educational style can worsen the problem and intensify the symptoms. This is one of the reasons why education plays such an important and important role in therapy. – ADHS is inherited

  • An inconsistent educational style is responsible for the occurrence of the problem.

It is important that parents learn how to deal with the problems that are thrown at them in everyday life by the child’s behaviour. Parents should already have thought about the following aspects in advance of a conversation with a doctor, therapist or educational counselling centre and take a critical view of the situation: The child’s behaviour should have been consistently observed over a period of at least six months before the diagnosis is made. Conspicuous features should also have been observed in several areas of life.

If this is the case, a personal assessment of the situation and an analysis of all the factors that trigger stress will be carried out first. In cooperation with a counselling centre, a doctor or child and youth psychologist, etc., the first diagnostic steps can then be initiated, on which therapeutic measures can then be based. This should always be taken into account in the context of an individual therapy:

  • Parents are particularly responsible for the success of therapeutic measures.
  • Rules that are established within the framework of a therapy must also be considered and implemented in the family environment. – Rules must be formulated clearly and comprehensibly. This also includes clearly defining what happens in case of non-compliance.

However, praise in the case of compliance is just as important. Therefore, the following applies:

  • Praise your child whenever possible and honestly applicable. – Try to involve everyone involved in the upbringing in the holistic concept of education.

Nothing is more of a hindrance than an inconsistent style of upbringing

  • Which situations in everyday life imply the undesirable behaviour of the child? – What things do I find positive about my child? – Rules?

Are there actually clear rules at home? Do I make sure that they are followed consistently? A therapy – no matter how individualised it may be – cannot assert itself automatically in all areas of the child’s life.

In addition to the actual practice of therapeutic measures in the curative education or psychotherapy field, it is important to bring together and deepen everything that has been learned in the home environment. This means that the therapist discusses the therapeutic steps with the parents, which are then worked out together with the children during the therapy, but which must also be applied and deepened at home. For the parents, this support in the home environment is not always easy, in addition to the many stressful situations that arise from the typical ADHD behavior.

In many cases, the feeling arises that they never do enough, perhaps even act wrongly and, especially when other siblings live in the household, the permanent feeling that they cannot do justice to all children in the same way. If you have the feeling that you can no longer cope with the problems alone, you should seek professional advice and help. This may mean, for example, that you yourself teach the therapist and/or seek help yourself, either by contacting a family counselling centre or by seeing a therapist.

The fact that you yourself feel you need help should not frighten you. Be honest with yourself, this is the only way you, your ADHD child and your family have a chance! In the first place, there are no other rules for raising an ADHD child than for raising a child without ADHD.

Of special importance are for example: Please also note the aspects listed below, which are not only to be considered sensible and useful in the upbringing of an ADHD child. They are written from the point of view of a child and should make you think about them:

  • Not everything I want to have, I necessarily have to get. Sometimes I just test how far I can go.

Fulfill my wishes when I have earned them! – Give me clear and understandable instructions. Then I know where I stand.

  • Don’t be erratic. What you tell me once should not only apply in this situation. – Agree.

If one forbids me something that the other allows me to do, then I no longer know where I stand. Believe me: One day I’ll make good use of it! – Let me do everything I can do alone.

Don’t help me with things that any baby can do alone. – You don’t have to comfort me with every little ache like it’s a big drama. Trust me, eventually I’ll make every little thing a big deal.

  • I like praise. But don’t overdo it. You have to mean it.
  • You can also criticize me objectively. Give me instructions on how I can do it better. I’m not gonna get messed up.

It won’t do us both any good. – Try to answer my questions. – Explain things I don’t necessarily understand right away.

  • Make the most of the time you have for me. Play a nice game with me or read me a great story. Then do things with me that I can’t do alone or things that I enjoy most with you.
  • Admit mistakes and help me (indirectly) to get out of the mess. – I can apologize to you for my mistakes. If not, then I have to learn.

Can you also apologize to me when you haven’t been acting so great? – Don’t be a “head teacher”. Explain things properly, but in a way that I understand them.

Don’t say things like, “I knew it right away… “…be simple. – Don’t let me freak out. Then walk away, don’t react to it… .

If I have reacted, then I will certainly realize that my behavior was completely off (even if I hate to admit it). – The formulation of clear rules. – The observance of these rules with all clearly defined consequences and effects.

  • The praise – whenever it makes sense (no exaggerated praise, not too rare praise)
  • Love that a child can still feel even in crisis situations, for example by trying never to become unjust yourself. – Care, by always having an open ear for the child’s problems and worries. – Time – for this you do not have to be available around the clock. Learn to use the time you spend with your child effectively and sensibly.