Depression: Help for Relatives

Every third German suffers from a mental illness in the course of his life – most of them from depression. The figure makes it clear that almost everyone comes into contact with mental illnesses such as depression directly or indirectly through family members and friends. Dealing with the fact that a close relative is affected and recognizing depression as an illness is usually difficult. One reason is that psychiatry is taboo in society. Cases like that of the famous soccer player Robert Enke have at least made it possible for depression to gain more recognition. Depressions are anyway still the most socially acceptable clinical pictures, because everyone knows the feeling of the sadness and Antriebslosigkeit as for example after deaths, so Karl Heinz Möhrmann, chairman of the regional organization Bavaria of the members mentally ill registered association. (LApK).

Help for depressives and relatives

What is often forgotten: Not only the ill person himself needs help, also the relatives are under strong psychological pressure. “Two out of three relatives of chronically mentally ill people are at risk of becoming ill themselves in the long term: depression, psychosomatic illnesses, sleep disorders, stomach ulcers and gallstones are possible long-term consequences,” Möhrmann explains. The strength of the relatives is very important, however, if they also become ill, “nothing works anymore.” Therefore, an important piece of advice is not to forget yourself, to take some time every day and to do something good for yourself. If the partner doesn’t understand, then you can try to explain to him “I’m only doing this so that you and we will soon feel better again,” advises Möhrmann. Good stress management is therefore also of great value. It cushions the difficult situation for the relative somewhat and does not let him reach his limits so quickly.

Depression: Signs for relatives

The first step is often admitting to yourself that your partner is ill. Possible early warning symptoms include:

  • Sleep disturbances
  • Careless personal hygiene
  • A general listlessness

A preliminary stage can also be a burnout syndrome. It is now important not to try to force the depressed relative to pull himself together or always makes suggestions for undertakings and leisure activities, Möhrmann knows: “This only leads to excessive demands and aggression. The sick person doesn’t feel understood.”

Relatives search for causes

Automatically, the question of guilt arises: is one as a relative perhaps also responsible for the disease? “As a rule, one is not,” Möhrmann explains. Furthermore, he says, “It is a very important goal to make that clear to the relative.” It is also quite normal, he says, that sometimes there will be arguments, that maybe sometimes a door will be slammed shut. “Relatives are only human, too,” Möhrmann emphasizes. You just have to remember after the argument to make your partner or family member feel that you’re there for them.

The cause is not always obvious

Sometimes there are reasons for the onset of depression, such as sudden unemployment or the loss of a loved one. However, such a superficial cause is not always to be found. In any case, professional help is advisable, not least because the suicide rate among depressives is drastically increased. There are individual solutions – from outpatient talks and drug support to day clinics and an inpatient stay.

Depression: involve relatives in therapy

Not only the sufferer, but also the relatives should be involved in the treatment, for example, be listened to, be informed about the disease, the treatment and medication and perhaps also occasionally be present in therapy sessions. The patient’s understanding of the disease is important. This can be promoted as a family member by overcoming one’s own inhibitions and talking to the patient about the changes one has noticed in him or her. Forced treatment against the will of the person concerned is only possible if there is acute danger to self or others, usually in the case of suicide attempts.

Seek help from counseling networks

If you are at a loss, counseling networks are a great help. For example, there are state associations of relatives of the mentally ill and the Federal Association of Relatives of the Mentally Ill (BApK), but also the German Depression Aid Foundation with regional offers.There you can call or drop by – even anonymously – to get first-hand help.