Experiences we have as children and in adolescence play a decisive role in shaping our personality in adulthood. Many behaviors – of which we are often unaware – can be traced back to inner drivers. Be fast! Make an effort! Who doesn’t know them – these phrases from childhood. They help us to get along in the world and to gain security. But sometimes there comes a point when we are driven and our drivers become our undoing.
The 5 “Inner Drivers”
- Be perfect!
- Be fast!
- Do right by everyone!
- Make an effort!
- Be strong!
“Inner drivers” can stress …
Drivers have brought us to where we are today – they have become part of our personality. For the most part, they originated in our childhood under the influence of parental education or other educators such as teachers.
Basically, the drivers speed, accuracy, kindness, effort or enthusiasm and strength are positive qualities – they helped us to achieve the current status quo of our development. However, they can also block and be constricting or burdensome, especially if you have adopted them very strongly as a principle.
Examples are: Making mistakes is bad, time is precious, everyone should like me or weaknesses must not be shown. In this case, inner drivers do not lead to success, because they cannot be fulfilled in their claim to absoluteness and exclusivity.
…or motivate
Each driver holds – if one has become aware of it – also the possibility to oppose him one or more so-called allowers. These can be: I am allowed to take time for myself, I am also allowed to say no sometimes, I am allowed to show feelings or I am also allowed to relax. Allowances” create the necessary freedom and can free you from constricting pressure. Incidentally, this is also an opportunity to further develop one’s personality.
Controlling “inner drivers”
Within the development towards adulthood, one should become clear about one’s drivers so that they cannot have a negative impact on one’s life. If you ensure clarity in your professional and private life, you also create the necessary space for the things that are close to your heart.
The goal is therefore to develop an awareness of which reactions make sense and which only trigger stress. Old driver thoughts can then be successively replaced by new thought patterns.
