How to diagnose strangers
The diagnosis of “strangerhood” is possible only through close observation and analysis of the child’s behavior. If children suddenly react anxiously to a person who enters the room or comes into the close vicinity of the child and wants to be hidden behind mommy’s legs for protection or wants to be taken in the arms, it is almost certainly a child who is a stranger. The person who triggers this does not necessarily have to be a stranger, it can also be the grandparents or friends.
From an appropriate age on, children show the same sudden change in behavior towards certain people. As soon as the strangeness begins to appear from the appropriate age, for example from the 8th month of life, affected parents can be quite sure that their child is a stranger. In order to diagnose the phase of strangeness in children, it is therefore not necessary to visit a doctor with diagnostic equipment. It is often helpful to ask a friend’s mother or parents for advice on how to assess the child’s new stranger behavior.
Associated symptoms
First of all it should be said that strangers are completely normal and are part of the development of social behavior. In most cases, it is not necessary to treat the strangeness of children, as this behavioral pattern is discarded by itself after a certain age of the children. Nevertheless, it is possible to counteract strangers in a supportive way and help to take away the children’s fears.
First of all, it is important that the child’s trusted person present recognizes the strangeness as such in order to react adequately. In this way the child and his or her strangeness should be taken seriously. This means that as a confidant you should offer the protection that the child expects from you at that moment.
It is counterproductive to attempt to force the child to deal with the situation and to seek confrontation with the stranger. An understanding and patient behavior as well as providing security are essential. Nevertheless, the person of trust must not provoke any avoidance behavior.
If the child starts to be a stranger, that is his or her right. However, the person of trust can communicate with the supposed stranger at a distance. In this way, the trusted third party communicates to the child that the stranger is not a danger to him or her, without actively involving the child.
Babysitters to whom a child reacts with strange behavior should not be sent home immediately. No, it is advisable to simply leave the new babysitter in the child’s environment for a longer period of time. Talk to him or her in front of the child and actively involve him or her in tasks such as feeding, changing diapers and playing together with him or her and the child. In this way the child learns to get rid of its initial, completely normal strange behavior more quickly.
