Everyone knows the feeling of being in love. If this infatuation lasts in a relationship, after some time it develops into a basic understanding of one’s own feelings and those of the other person. Infatuation develops into love.
What is love?
Love in general, so equally in the friendly sphere, has the function of establishing and maintaining social contacts. The concept of love is not easy to define. Intimate feelings for another person, palpitations and the desire to be constantly with this person are understood in everyday life as a feeling of love. However, in the narrower sense, this is more of an infatuation. Love rather denotes a strong affection and appreciation and has already left infatuation behind. It is characterized by the knowledge of this affection. After many years of relationship, it may even be possible to speak less of a feeling than of this knowledge and the naturalness that comes with it. Generally, however, different people feel different feelings or have a different understanding of what love is. Therefore, it is difficult to find universal descriptions. The concept of love developed from Middle High German. The old word “liep”, which can be translated as “pleasant” or “valuable”, is the predecessor of our current word love. Going back even further, the term comes from Indo-European. According to common understanding, love transcends the pure utility of an interpersonal relationship and is characterized by affection and – in a relationship – by physical desire of the other person. However, it does not necessarily have to be reciprocated in order to persist. Likewise, it can also exist when there is no (more) desire for sexuality. Next to love between partners is the term of love used in family bonds or a close friendship. More generally, the term stands for a strong devotion to living beings, objects, ideas or activities. Thus, love metaphorically also stands for an enormous appreciation or even obsession. Accordingly, different forms of love are self-love, family love, partner love, love of one’s neighbor and love of God, as well as love for one’s own hobby or an idea. Thus, the concept of love is broad.
Function and task
In a firm partnership love is an important starting point for a functioning relationship, which can also produce offspring. Thus, from an evolutionary biological perspective, partner love has the function of ensuring reproduction. It is similar with familial love. Families are and were – in early times even more so than today – important for the development, upbringing and protection of human beings. A quite unique phenomenon in this sub-area is the love of the parents for the child, which overshadows every other feeling and is characterized by strong instincts and protective needs. It thus fulfills the task of raising and protecting the child until it stands on its own two feet – and beyond. In general, i.e. also in the area of friendship, love has the function of establishing and maintaining social contacts. Because no human being can be alone in the long run without suffering psychologically or even physically. Love helps to establish contacts and to maintain them. However, love also has other functions. The strong affection towards an idea or a hobby gives a person the possibility to switch off in everyday life and to occupy himself with things that suit him. Those who engage in activities they like inevitably learn and become better at what they do. Thus, this love gives man the chance to develop abilities and to use them for himself or even for the general public. The love of God is defined by the belief in one or more gods who have created the world in some way and are above it. Depending on the religion, this image varies. Nevertheless, the function remains similar: Love for God is anchored in the belief in God. Believers see God as the protector of the world and as the superfather who also protects them. Thus, love of God has a close connection to familial love.
Diseases and ailments
Love, however, is not always reciprocated. Unrequited love, which causes heartache, can be very painful.While in some forms of love no immediate, direct reciprocation is expected, unrequited love in a partnership, family or friendship is often associated with a great deal of suffering. Especially in the case of a broken relationship, heartbreak can take on fatal proportions. Depending on the original strength of the broken bond, it can sometimes never subside. The feeling of having lost an important part of one’s life is lamented by many sufferers. Nevertheless, the feeling usually subsides after some time and becomes more bearable. The everyday expression “true love is never forgotten” is therefore no coincidence. People who have had a strong influence on one’s life are suddenly hard to imagine life without. Especially after a long-term relationship, in which both partners have adjusted to each other, it is difficult to get used to new things. Often, a complete rethinking and the need for a new life plan is the result afterwards, which can intensify the heartbreak. To overcome lovesickness, distraction is the right way. People who stand by the affected person and help him get over this phase make this time easier. Often, lovesickness follows a phase of infatuation that has not yet developed into love. If this is the case, the time experienced together is usually missing. This often makes it easier to get over the pain that has been triggered and to reorient oneself.
