“The crisis of the egg is the opportunity of the chick”, says the popular saying, describing an experience that many people can have in the course of life and in retrospect evaluate as positive.
What is a crisis?
A crisis is a break in the continuity and normality of our life course. It often happens frequently and unexpectedly, such as the onset of illness, accidents or other misfortunes. Other crises occur, for example, during transitions from one phase of life to another or during upheavals and changes that life has in store for us. For some children, the transition to puberty turns into a crisis, adults experience the passage from a childless couple to parenthood as a crisis, and for many women and men, the “midlife crisis” can mean severe emotional collapses. In all cases, life plans are questioned, analyzed and, in the best case, redesigned. If the redesign succeeds, the break becomes a breakthrough. If it does not succeed, then the rupture becomes a breakdown. The ruptures in life are, so to speak, existential “switches” at which our lives are set up anew. But in them there is also always the chance to correct the previous way of life and to incorporate new patterns of behavior, ideas and concepts. We do not leave crises unchanged, we do not get away “unscathed.” But the compelling power of change through crisis equally enables a powerful and creative new beginning.
The 4 phases of crisis management
Crises always exist. They are as much a part of human life as the air we breathe. To cope with them, we go through four different phases of coping:
- The phase of not wanting to admit it and denial We resist change and don’t want to admit that things are not the way they used to be. “I’m not sick” or “It can’t be that my loved one died”.
- The phase of bursting emotions We feel hopeless and powerless, and we grapple with our fate. Fears, uncertainty, anger, guilt and self-doubt dominate our thinking. “Why me of all people?” “What have I done to deserve this fate?”
- The phase of reorientation We begin to think of possibilities, in which direction we want to go further. Possible solutions and ways out are beginning to emerge. “Maybe I could…”
- The phase of restored balance We have come to terms with the new situation and can draw new strength from it.
We all have to go through these phases to bring a crisis to a “positive” conclusion. This does not always succeed. If reorientation and new balance fall by the wayside, then we fall ill not only mentally, but also physically. Depression, the risk of addiction, physical complaints such as sleep disorders, restlessness, cardiovascular problems, gastrointestinal complaints, headaches and back pain can be the consequences.
What positive things can crises do?
- Appreciate life, even everyday things again.
- That we must and may take ourselves important
- That we have not lived according to our needs
- That the meaning of life in the future is a different one for us
- Accept others more
- To take the partner and friends more important
- To rearrange our priorities
- To do more for ourselves and our health
- Deal with ourselves more gently
5 Tips for personal crisis management
Many people rediscover their faith in the crisis, others reflect on long-neglected friends, and still others seek help and support from experienced therapists. In some cases, the cause of the crisis can be eliminated; in other cases, only dealing with the crisis in a positive way can be the solution. In any case, however, personal crisis management should include the following points:
- Think positively. The worse you evaluate the crisis and the less you believe in overcoming it, the greater the despair will be. Thoughts like “I’ll never get out of this”, “Life is over” “I can’t take this” are paralyzing. Instead, remind yourself of situations that you have successfully overcome in the past: “I have always found a solution so far” or “It has always gone on somehow so far”. Talk to friends and acquaintances who have experienced similar situations or seek the support of a self-help group.Sometimes it is easier to pour out your heart in the initial anonymity of an unknown group.
- Find an objective interlocutor with whom you can talk about your situation. Sometimes we get so involved in a situation that we lose our objectivity. We can’t realistically see the extent of our problems and then feel bad accordingly. A diary can also help to talk out and sort out the thoughts.
- Build relaxation periods into your everyday life! Read books in which you can find comfort and advice. Whether guidebooks, the Bible, poems or biographies – books offer advice, employment and relaxation in one. Music, sports and exercise are as much a part of a personal relaxation program as a nice meal with friends or an afternoon at the museum. Remember the things that do you good and schedule this activity.
- Live from day to day. Some days we are so overwhelmed that we can’t imagine how we can even get through this crisis. That’s when it’s helpful to take one manageable day at a time to survive: “Today I can do it. What can I do for myself today?”
- Ask yourself the question: what can I learn from this crisis? What meaning can I give it in my life? Who gives meaning to the crisis, opens up to life.
