Sex Addiction: Causes, Symptoms & Treatment

Hypersexuality – colloquially sex addiction – refers to an increased desire for sex or sexual acts. Medicine, psychology and sexology are increasingly concerned with this issue in recent years. The causes are of different nature, the demarcation from still healthy to already unhealthy behavior is difficult.

What is sex addiction?

A scientific definition for the term sex addiction, there is not yet. Only and alone the increased sexual desire as a sexual disorder is recognized. Whether a sex addiction is present or not, is mainly defined by the sensation of the affected person. There is no guideline for when sex becomes too much, so the question is whether the person affected has a problem with his or her behavior. People who suffer from sex addiction have an exaggerated, extreme urge for sexual acts that limits them in their lives. The thoughts of those affected no longer revolve around anything else, they are only searching and can no longer take pleasure in anything else. Often, the ability to orgasm and commit are limited in sex addicts, which makes them keep searching.

Causes

The exact causes of sex addiction are not known. What is clear, however, is that it is always an interaction of several factors. There are in rare cases physical causes, which can lie in a tumor in the adrenal cortex. In the same way, various mental illnesses, such as manias, can be causative. Since sexuality is also learned, family factors play a role. It is striking that sex addicts often come from families in which alcohol abuse or other addictions exist. It has been proven that addictive behavior has a genetic disposition. During sex, messenger substances are released in the body that have a positive influence on mood. Many sex addicts additionally increase the release of endogenous drugs through games that involve fear or risk. A cause of sex addiction can also be abuse in childhood. Affected individuals have learned that they can solve problems with sex and are available to partners without really perceiving their own needs. An overwhelming, positive experience during early sexual experiences can also trigger a sex addiction. Sufferers continually seek repetition of this feeling.

Symptoms, complaints and signs

Signs of a sex addiction are primarily the constant desire for sexual contact. The desire is not satisfied by an experienced sexual act, but the desire for more sex remains permanently. This often results in problems in a relationship. If the sexual drive of both partners cannot be permanently reconciled, dissatisfaction will set in sooner or later. A typical symptom of an addiction is the desire, in this case for sex, which cannot be controlled rationally. Thus, many people affected by sex addiction also visit to live out their desire for sexual contact outside of an existing partnership. If the partner does not consider this legitimate, jealousy, breach of trust and separation are usually the consequences. But even those affected by sexual addiction who are not in a partnership sometimes take certain risks. A high number of sexual partners carries the risk of contracting an STD. To avoid the resulting discomfort, sufferers must ensure strict use of condoms. The same applies to the development of an unwanted pregnancy. Sex addiction is usually limited to the constant acting out of the physical urge, but does not necessarily include the desire for a permanent partnership or children. In order to spare all parties involved emotional problems here, safe contraception is indispensable in the case of sex addiction.

Diagnosis and course

A sex addiction increases over years. Typically, sexuality becomes less and less satisfying, its influence on everyday life greater and greater. The urge to act out sexuality becomes increasingly difficult to control. Typical signs are:

  • Thoughts revolve more and more frequently around sex. More and more sex is also practiced. If this no longer takes place, anxiety and inner emptiness arises.
  • Those affected have problems in their partnerships, an increased risk of infection with STDs, often financial and professional difficulties arise.
  • A loss of control over behavior takes place. Affected people try to expand their sexual activities, fail due to their lack of satisfaction and ultimately engage in compulsive behavior that they can no longer break.
  • Sex addicts try to solve conflicts and negative emotions with sex. This succeeds only in the short term, often followed by feelings of guilt.
  • Sexuality determines the complete life of the affected person, other duties are completely neglected.
  • Often the sexual desire is disturbed.

Complications

Sex addiction leads to complications on several levels. For example, the constant pursuit of addiction (given the opportunity) leads to increasing tolerance formation. It behaves here similarly to addictive substances: The original stimulus is no longer sufficient to satisfy the addiction, and so more extreme stimuli are sought. This can manifest itself in the acting out of harder sexual practices, but can also end in sexual harassment, rape or even a sexually associated homicide. In such cases, sex addiction has corresponding legal consequences for those affected. It is particularly serious when sex addicts also exhibit a paraphilia (pedophilia, coprophilia). Due to the lack of opportunities to act out, those affected develop avoidance behavior here (intensive consumption of pornography, some of which is illegal, visiting prostitutes to fulfill their desires) and may also transgress legal boundaries here. Conversely, there are cases in which the sex addiction can be seen as the basis for the prostitution that is lived out specifically. In such cases, treatment of sex addiction is tantamount to the loss of the financial basis. Social decline is possible due to sex addiction. It can be due to flings, financial ruin or crimes in this context. In addition, sexually very active people are generally more likely to contract STDs, insofar as adequate protection during the act is not taken care of.

When should you go to the doctor?

Sex addiction creates suffering pressure over time and this is the right time to seek medical help. At the latest, when the affected person himself recognizes that he is a sex addict and therefore makes decisions that are not in his best interest, a doctor should be consulted. However, the suffering from sex addiction occurs much earlier, before the affected person himself begins to suffer from his condition, namely in the people directly affected by sex addiction. This can be changing or even fixed sexual partners. Even this can be enough for sex addicts to seek help, even if they themselves are not yet suffering from the situation – they are suffering from harming other people, which they do not want to do. Those who can accept help at this stage are making the right decision for themselves and others. The contact person can be the family doctor if sex addiction is suspected, but specialists such as gynecologists or urologists will also be able to address the problem. Ultimately, treatment will have to be provided by a psychologist or alternative practitioner. If you want to go directly to them, you can do that too, but you will have to wait a while for an appointment or pay the costs yourself. Complementary, there are also good support groups for sex addicts that can make a valuable contribution to treatment or bridge waiting times.

Treatment and therapy

If the affected person is able to recognize his situation and also feels a correspondingly high level of suffering, therapy can help. Most often, cognitive behavioral therapy is used. Affected persons learn and understand how they got into sex addiction, what the personal causes are and how they can change their behavior. In some cases, psychotropic drugs are used. Problematically, far too few therapists to date have any real experience in treating sex addiction. It may be necessary to treat other mental illnesses in addition to sex addiction. The therapy pursues the goal of being able to experience intimacy without the connection to sexuality, which is why most therapies work with a phase of sexual abstinence at the beginning, in which there are no sexual acts with oneself or with a partner. This has the sense that negative feelings arise in the affected person, which can be worked through.Building a healthy relationship with oneself is paramount, as one’s relationship with oneself shapes relationships with others.

Prevention

Prevention of sex addiction is basically impossible. The only thing that can help is to examine oneself, one’s sexual behaviors, one’s relationships with partners, and ask oneself if one’s lifestyle can be considered healthy, if it differs from other people’s lifestyles, if one has a problem with it, and if so, why. Some former sex addicts attend support groups after therapy to share ideas with others who have been affected. Such groups can provide a space to talk openly about the taboo topic of sex addiction. Group participants often support each other by giving each other tips or offering new perspectives. An essential function of self-help groups is to provide psychological relief.

Aftercare

Counseling centers play an important role in outpatient aftercare following sex addiction therapy. In some cases, these organize self-help groups or other discussion groups. Some counseling centers also offer one-on-one sessions, which can take place regularly or as needed. Special drop-in centers for sex addicts are rare – however, some counseling centers for addiction disorders offer groups and talks for behavioral addicts. In addition to gambling and Internet addicts, these also include sex addicts. However, interested parties should check with the respective provider on a case-by-case basis to determine whether a particular aftercare program is right for them. In addition to counseling centers, there are outpatient clinics or specialized outpatient clinics and clinics that sometimes offer similar outpatient services. Some clinics have their own aftercare program that patients can transfer to after a stay in the clinic. Sex addiction often leads to relationship conflicts. If partnership problems have not yet been adequately addressed in therapy, it may make sense to continue working on the partnership after the actual treatment – with the support of a counselor, coach or therapist, if necessary.

Here’s what you can do yourself

Most important is admitting that sex addiction is causing problems. If this basic requirement is not present, experience has shown that a patient will not consistently comply with treatment. Thus, the goal of self-treatment to control one’s own sexuality cannot be achieved either. It is recommended to exchange information with the immediate environment and other affected persons. As with alcoholism, there is an increased risk of relapse. Openness can be difficult at first. This is especially true for one’s own partner. It is important not to make certain behaviors taboo. Group sessions have proven to be successful. Several sufferers take part in these sessions, describe their experiences and work out coping strategies. Continuous discussion should lead to an improvement. In extreme cases, sex addiction even leads to criminal acts. Voyeurism and exhibitionism are forms that hurt other people. If they have occurred, patients should not refrain from self-treatment, but the focus should be on professional therapy. In these cases, a stage has been reached that is deeply rooted in the psyche and requires medical supervision.