What are the causes of depression after a separation? | Depression after a separation

What are the causes of depression after a separation?

How each person deals with a separation is very individual. Some overcome the low mood after a few days, others need several weeks. This is related, for example, to personality and social environment.

People with a consolidated self-esteem and many social contacts are less likely to develop a real depression. On the other hand, people with low self-esteem and an unstable social environment are more likely to develop depression. Another risk factor is the excessive consumption of alcohol or other drugs such as cannabis. Negative emotions, as they occur after a separation, entice patients with a tendency to substance abuse to use. This significantly increases the probability of developing depression and should therefore be avoided.

How do I deal with the fact that my ex-partner gets depressed after a separation?

Separations are rarely bilateral decisions. One partner makes the decision not to live with the other anymore, the other partner must then accept this decision. Especially for the abandoned partner the separation is especially difficult and he tends to develop depression.

But how should I deal with this as an ex-partner? It is important not to give the ex-partner false hopes of a reconciliation, if it is not in his own interest. For the processing of the abandoned person it is very important that the separation is a final decision.

At the same time, one should also pay attention to one’s own psychological well-being. If you think too much about being responsible for the depression of a former loved one, it can quickly make you ill yourself. Of course, in such a situation one is plagued by feelings of guilt, but it is important to remember that the choice of partner is in your own hands.

To resume a relationship out of pity is not a sensible idea. Overall, contact between ex-partners should be limited to the minimum in order to give the abandoned person as much space and distance as possible. If you still want to help, it could be a good step to share your concerns with your ex-partner’s friends and family. They will then be better able to deal with the depression of the abandoned person. If there is a concrete suspicion that the ex-partner is considering suicidal acts, the police should be informed to prevent worse.

How can I overcome depression after a break-up?

Separation from a partner can be very stressful. In the hours and days immediately after the separation the negative feelings are usually strongest. However, it is important to allow them to happen.

They are completely normal and are part of the process. It is especially important not to try to numb these feelings with alcohol or other drugs. In most cases this only creates new problems.

How exactly the individual deals with a separation is very different. For some it helps to do a lot with friends or family to distract themselves, for others it helps to stay alone or travel. In any case, it makes sense to distract oneself from the negative emotions and at the same time to rebuild one’s self-esteem through activities.

It is important not to put yourself under too much pressure and to allow yourself enough time to process the separation. Furthermore, the personal attitude towards the ex-partner should be reconsidered. After a long-term relationship and subsequent separation, the abandoned part often tends to “lift the ex-partner to a throne”.

This makes it impossible to ever find a new partner who can approach the ex-partner. However, this is a misjudgment. On the one hand, it simply does not correspond to reality, on the other hand it hinders the future search for a partner.

If the sadness has not disappeared or even got worse after several weeks, one should consider to get professional help. Especially in case of suicidal thoughts you should not be guided by a false sense of shame and consult a doctor. At first it is sufficient to ask the family doctor for help. Mild and moderate depressions are easily treatable in an outpatient setting, while in severe depressions inpatient treatment may be advisable. You can find additional information here: Therapy of depression