What are the phases of lovesickness?

The phases of lovesickness are not uniformly defined, since it is not a recognized clinical picture. However, similar classifications can be found in the literature and in descriptions by experts, who classify lovesickness into 4-5 phases:

The first of these phases begins even before the separation with a certain premonition. One notices that the partner withdraws, the first fears of loss come to light and finally the relationship ends.
The second phase follows immediately after the separation itself and is determined by the shock.
One feels helpless, cannot understand one’s partner and desperation takes over. Many people simply refuse to accept the separation, want to have long discussions with their ex-partner and want to undo what has happened. Only when the separation has seeped into the consciousness does one move on to the next phase.
In this phase the processing begins, the actual lovesickness.
Reality hits you in the face with its fist, the meaning of being alone and the already described symptoms press on the mind. Also in this phase many try to win back the partner nevertheless still, the grief alternates with fanatical action urge.
In the fourth phase, the separation is accepted as final and the first sorrow is gone. What remains is anger and pain, but everyday life without a partner also slowly takes shape.
The fifth and last phase, finally, marks the emotional closure with the relationship.
The anger fades away, the thought of the partner still stings, but no longer interferes with everyday life. This fifth phase is the goal of grief processing and can only be achieved if the other phases are accepted and lived out. If this does not happen, there is the danger of getting stuck in one of the preceding phases.

What is the best way to overcome lovesickness?

There is no recipe for overcoming lovesickness and breaking up with your former partner. Every person processes a separation differently, men differently than women, adults differently than teenagers, mentally burdened people differently than healthy people, etc. For all of them, however, it is important to consciously go through every phase of lovesickness and to allow and process the grief.

This requires a lot of time and patience. In the beginning there is the pain, which most people want to avoid by distracting themselves or looking for help to overcome their heartache. But the pain and grief only go away when you have allowed and felt it.

Only then can the processing begin consciously. By repressing all strong negative feelings, they nestle in the subconscious, the ex-partner remains a sore spot forever and the subconscious conflicts affect mental health in the long run. In order not to constantly rekindle the physical stress reaction, the ex-partner should be avoided as much as possible and thus new conflict potential should be avoided.

The emotional and hormonal chaos can be managed with the right distraction and company. Hobbies and fun activities stimulate the feeling of happiness and contact with friends reduces loneliness and breaks through negative thought spirals. It has also proved to be a good idea to rely on your talents and interests, especially in such a vulnerable time.

A break-up scratches the self-confidence enormously and especially after long relationships there are doubts about one’s own identity without a partner. You should therefore concentrate on what makes you an independent person. Besides these suggestions, only time helps.

Stress and grief cannot be sustained by the body in the long run and sooner or later the situation will inevitably relax.If they do not use them or if the emotions are so massive that everyday life cannot be managed or self-endangerment is conceivable, psychologists or psychiatrists are the best places to go. They help with processing and in extreme cases can even intervene with medication to temporarily reduce the suffering. However, this is merely a postponement of the necessary confrontation with one’s own feelings.

No, there are no drugs against lovesickness and because of the necessary processing of the grief there can be no drugs at all, since each phase and the associated pain is important for overcoming the separation. However, accompanying symptoms of lovesickness can be treated if they are so strong that they make the person affected ill. Antidepressants are indicated for medium to severe depression, temporary sedatives can be prescribed for restlessness and insomnia, and the body’s stress reaction can be alleviated with medication if it feels threatening. However, these drugs only treat problems that have been aggravated by lovesickness or have appeared for the first time, not the lovesickness itself.

Moreover, they can only be prescribed by a doctor. If one needs such a therapy, the accompanying psychological problems should be treated independent of the lovesickness anyway. The same applies to homeopathic remedies for lovesickness as to conventional medicine: They can be used and work, but only against the accompanying symptoms, not against the lovesickness itself. In this situation, very different substances would come into question depending on the severity of the symptoms, each of which follows a different approach. If a homeopathic treatment is desired, a detailed professional consultation is therefore necessary.