What are the stages of grief?

Mourning phases are defined in different ways, so it is not possible to give a general definition of which phases there are. In general one must also note that phase divisions of mourning are models that were designed on the basis of different views, criteria and points of view. Despite a claim to objectivity, such models always remain subjective to a certain extent and are not generally applicable to every person.

However, they are suitable as a rough guide to understand the course of mourning. In most cases, phases are described which are passed through one after the other or sometimes in parallel. Often there is a phase of shock or not-being-aware at the beginning of the mourning.

Then often follows a phase in which the grief is experienced emotionally very strongly. A possible designation is “emotional phase”. Various authors have simplified the phase of emotions and often described it as the phase of anger.

But also other emotions like despair, helplessness or similar are possible. Depending on the model, however, other phases are also possible. Usually the phase of exuberant emotions is followed by a phase of deeper examination of the grief experience.

Finally, there is a phase of acceptance, which usually follows the processing of the experience. This does not mean, however, that sadness is no longer experienced. In 1969, the psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross described a phased model for dealing with dying.

In the narrower sense, the model refers to the phases that a dying person goes through until death occurs. However, it can also be applied to the way mourners deal with the death of a loved one or close person. The model allows for certain individual variations in the passing through of the phases, both in terms of the sequence and the intensity of the phases.

It is possible, for example, that phases are passed through several times or that they occur in parallel. The model after Kübler-Ross also served as inspiration and model for later models, although it – just like its successors – is also strongly criticized from many sides. A rigid phase model, for example, does not seem to meet the requirement of realistically depicting individually experienced grief.In the following, the phases according to Kübler-Ross are differentiated and presented: 1. denial – phase of defense and not-being-aware-will: The dying person first denies the impending death.

For example, he or she accuses the doctor of a false diagnosis or claims that the results of his or her examination must have been mixed up. Relatives or friends also often go through this phase, as they do not want to acknowledge the imminent death of the person close to them. 2 Anger – Phase of anger, wrath and protest: In this phase the dying person feels anger and rage about the impending death.

He often projects his anger on relatives who do not have to suffer his fate. Envy of the survivors often plays an important role in this phase. The relatives can also go through this phase and develop anger.

The dying person is still plagued by the fear of being forgotten once he or she is no longer alive. 3rd Bargaining – phase of negotiation: In this phase, which is rather fleeting and of short duration, the dying person tries to postpone his or her death. He negotiates with his doctors or secretly with God.

These negotiations sometimes follow childish patterns of behavior, in which children negotiate with their parents in order to receive rewards. In return, household chores are offered, for example. It is similar in this phase with the dying person.

For example, he or she offers repentance for sins, vows to make amends or the like, and hopes to be rewarded with a longer life or freedom from pain. 4. depression and grief – phase of sadness: In this phase the dying person experiences sadness with regard to various things. The sadness can be experienced as a reaction to things that have already happened.

These can be, for example, already experienced losses, such as an amputation in the course of therapy, or the loss of social role in the structure of the family. Furthermore, sadness can also arise in relation to things that are still to come. Questions such as “How will my children get along without me” or “What will my relatives do without me?”

plague the dying person. 5th Acceptance Phase: In this phase the dying person accepts his or her imminent death and finds peace. He stops fighting and looks back on his past life.