What happens in case of lovesickness?

Definition

Lovesickness describes the feeling when a love is not returned or has been lost. The vernacular also speaks of the “broken heart“. This emotional reaction is a complex interplay of various conscious and subconscious functions of the brain and the rest of the body, which cause the person concerned to feel so miserable.

Causes

A person suffers from lovesickness when their love is not or no longer reciprocated. The reason for this is classically a separation, but also unsuccessful attempts to embrace can cause this feeling. Why we feel lovesickness so intensely has biological causes.

From an evolutionary point of view, a partnership offers a fundamental survival advantage, so that different systems of the brain and the rest of the body react very sensitively when we (have to) separate from a loved one. For example, it has been found that when we are lovesick, areas of the brain are active that are otherwise responsible for processing physical pain and other fundamental functions. The hormone balance also gets mixed up and is similar to the state of depression or withdrawal of a drug addict. As a result, we feel intense pain, even if the separation was logically reasonable. Physical symptoms are also possible, in this case one speaks of “Broken Heart Syndrome“, which in very severe cases is said to have caused the death of the person concerned.

Diagnosis

The “diagnosis: lovesickness” can only be made by oneself. Many people cannot imagine that lovesickness can cause such intense feelings and symptoms, and consult a doctor, especially if they have physical complaints. The doctor then diagnoses a psychological problem, e.g. depression or somatization disorder (= physical symptoms due to psychological stress). Lovesickness itself is not a described illness and is therefore not diagnosed as such, but is medically considered a trigger for known mental disorders.

Associated symptoms

The main symptoms of lovesickness are logically sadness, depression and similar emotional impairments. However, many other symptoms can also occur, which one would not expect directly from lovesickness. Typical symptoms are physical symptoms such as headaches, stomach aches, loss of appetite, sleep problems, dizziness and nausea.

In addition, there are psychological symptoms such as anxiety and panic attacks, depression, concentration and drive disorders and so on. Some people also experience real chest pain, a “heartache”, when they are lovesick. In addition, some people increase their consumption of alcohol and drugs to numb their feelings.

This risky behavior can be dangerous and can cause great harm to the lovesick person. In general, every form of discomfort is conceivable, which is due to massive psychological, but also physical strain. As already mentioned, lovesickness can lead not only to psychological but also physical pain.

Typical would be a pain in the chest, which in very bad cases can even feel like a heart attack. Others experience an unpleasant feeling of pressure on the neck and chest, the throat feels tight and breathing is difficult. But the general sensation of pain in the rest of the body is also increased by the massive psychological strain and the subsequent stress reaction, and every pain stimulus can feel much stronger.

Loss of appetite is as good as always with lovesickness. Of course, the extent of this varies greatly. Usually this symptom is only moderately pronounced, but cases of acute hypoglycaemia, dehydration and other deficiency symptoms are also known.

The main cause of the loss of appetite is the stress reaction of the body and the resulting release of stress hormones such as cortisol or adrenaline. This is similar to a situation in which the body is fighting for survival and needs such as hunger or sleep become secondary. Emotions can also influence our tastes and general eating habits and go crazy when we are lovesick.

Tachycardia is another symptom of physical stress. Lovesickness puts the human body under such enormous pressure as if it had to defend itself immediately or run away. Tachycardia and general restlessness are therefore the result.This is not only unpleasant, but can feel very threatening, especially for people who are afraid of a heart attack.

But usually the heart palpitations are harmless. Insomnia is the last “standard symptom” of lovesickness, along with loss of appetite and physical restlessness. Again, the cause is physical stress and emotional chaos, which can cause the affected person to suffer.

Because not only the body but also the head does not let you sleep. Spirals of thoughts about how the separation came about, what could have been done differently and so on are typical. These oppressive thoughts and the stress hormones keep the affected person awake.