In Advent and at Christmas, more than 90 percent long for harmony and silence, wish for tranquility and want to spend more time with family and friends. However, what does the reality often look like: Quarrels in the family and many people who are alone and suffer from loneliness. Days off, good food, being together with the people who are close to us – it could really all be nice. But instead: Hectic and stress spreads, the preparations have already robbed many of the last nerve. Real joy comes thereby already not at all more on.
Why is this so?
At Christmas, expectations and reality are often far apart. Too many expectations are linked to the reunion of family members, friends or relatives. The true feelings threaten to get lost in the Christmas shopping frenzy. Instead of taking each other in the arms, a present is rather bought, instead of dear words there are every year still fast ordered packages. Many people have an almost glorified image of Christmas and completely overlook the fact that we all come to the holidays from very different situations and therefore also bring very different needs. Christmas with the family therefore harbors conflict: parents want to be with the children, while the children are drawn to friends.
Harmony at Christmas cannot be forced
The hoped-for mood fails to materialize, frustration spreads. Smoldering conflicts erupt, family obligations are perceived as a burden. Thus it comes straight at the celebration of the love again and again to disappointments. Harmony cannot be forced however therefore: Enjoy the days simply in such a way, as they are. Allow yourself and the other members of the family some space and opportunities to withdraw. Free yourself from the pressure of having to fulfill all obligations. Just say “no” once in a while, too.
Less is more
We have too much of a “good thing” – in food, drink and leisure. But we have too little exercise and fresh air, too little healthy food and usually too little trust in our partner or family members. The fact is: every German puts on an average of 370 grams of weight between Christmas and New Year’s Day, while physical activity is usually neglected. To get rid of potential stumbling blocks before the festivities, it is useful to clarify in advance what the holidays should look like. Plan a special, but not too opulent Christmas dinner, agree with the family daily a joint activity, for example, a walk or a sleigh ride. In the process, distribute the tasks of preparation and daily work among all family members. In this way, everyone shares responsibility for the success of the holiday.
This is also Christmas – a time of solitude.
During the holidays, loneliness is in high season, because Christmas is the celebration of family. For most of us, that seems quite normal. But more and more people spend the holidays alone, losing almost all courage to face life. People who are alone or suffering from depression find this time particularly stressful. Churches and communities offer many celebrations and get-togethers, especially during Advent and Christmas, that can be a help to lonely people. But even a visit to the local pub can help prevent people from becoming too melancholy at Christmas.
Rules of life of the Dalai Lama
At Christmas and New Year – when the balance of the year is taken – people take time to think about the new year, especially about their new year. Rules of life provide guidance for the future. They can help develop clear goals, find new meaning and see life in a larger context. Here are the Dalai Lama’s rules of life:
- Note that great love and great success are always associated with great risk.
- If you lose, never lose the lesson.
- Always have respect for yourself, respect for others and take responsibility for your actions
- Remember: not getting what you want is sometimes a great stroke of luck
- Learn the rules so you can break them properly.
- Never let a small dispute destroy a great friendship.
- If you find that you have made a mistake, take immediate action to make amends.
- Spend some time alone each day.
- Open your arms to change, but do not lose sight of your values.
- Keep in mind that sometimes silence is the best answer.
- Live a good, honorable life. When you’re older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it all over again.
- A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
- In arguments with your loved ones, talk only about the current situation. Let the past rest in peace.
- Share your knowledge with others. This is a good way to gain immortality.
- Be careful with the earth. Go once a year to a place where you have never been.
- Remember that the best relationship is the one in which each partner loves the other more than they need.
- Measure your success by what you had to give up for him.
- Devote yourself to love and cooking with all your heart.
