End-of-life care is a word that many people can’t or don’t want to think of in detail. Dying and death are topics that they prefer to push far away. The opposite is true of end-of-life caregivers: they consciously confront death and accompany dying people during the last phase of their lives. Simply “being there” for the dying – that is the very valuable and important task of end-of-life caregivers.
Many ways of assisting the dying
End-of-life caregivers can visit the dying at home, in hospitals, nursing homes or hospices. However, end-of-life care is also available over the phone, by email or through online chat.
For some people, such as hospice workers, psychologists and chaplains, end-of-life care is part of their job. For others, it is a volunteer task. In addition, there are many relatives and friends of dying people who automatically provide end-of-life care without having made a conscious decision to do so.
What end-of-life caregivers can do
- are afraid of pain
- are worried, nervous, sad or irritable
- have trouble sleeping and concentrating
- worry about losing their independence and becoming a burden to their loved ones
- see their physical weakness and finiteness as a defeat
- want to think and talk about the meaning of life, dying and what comes afterwards
- want to remember and talk about different moments of their own life
- feel and live through longing, regret and many other emotions
- want to clarify and work through last things
- need to learn to accept the limits of medicine
- have to say goodbye to life and the people they love
- cry and laugh, scream and sing, be angry and grateful
They take away the fear of loneliness
End-of-life caregivers are not responsible for the physical care or housekeeping of a dying person, but for their soul. The most important thing is that the dying companion is there for the person. This can lead to a very special, close relationship.
End-of-life care also for relatives
End-of-life care also includes helping family members. Many of them are burdened by the knowledge that a loved one will soon be gone. Accepting this and at the same time enduring the hours, days and weeks until the time comes can be difficult to bear. A companion for the dying can stand by the side of those affected.
Sometimes, dying people and their relatives do not dare to communicate openly with each other about parting and death. End-of-life companions can often mediate here.
And even after the patient’s death, death companions are still there for relatives. They can help organize the funeral, for example.
End-of-life caregivers have something of their own
These challenges of end-of-life care are counterbalanced by various positive aspects that motivate end-of-life caregivers to do their work. For example, many companions can…
- do their work in the knowledge that it is very worthwhile and meaningful
- @ appreciate more the value of life and that of old, sick and lonely people
- through frequent confrontation with death, recognize and experience it more and more as a part of life
- through their work also deal better with the dying of their own relatives
Who is suitable as a dying companion?
In order for the positive feelings to prevail during end-of-life care, it helps if companions bring certain qualities with them. These include empathy, caring and reliability, as well as the ability to distance themselves and not take grief and anger home with them. A sense of humor and a fulfilled private life can also help volunteer or professional companions for the dying to cope with the often emotionally demanding work.
Those who already work in a health profession such as nursing can take further training in palliative care and then professionally accompany the dying. For people who would like to do voluntary end-of-life care, various bodies (e.g. social and church associations) offer appropriate courses.
