Weaning at night: When the night becomes torture
A word in advance: there is no harm in breastfeeding at night. Up to the age of around one year, night-time feeding is important for many children. In addition to satisfying hunger and thirst, intensive cuddling time and physical closeness – also in the parents’ bed – are important for the child’s basic trust and a stable mother-child relationship.
Some mothers cope better with night-time breastfeeding, can fall asleep again quickly afterwards and do not find the interruptions to their sleep stressful. Breastfeeding at night is then not necessary.
However, nights during breastfeeding can also be very restless and deprive mothers of restful deep sleep. Constant sleep deprivation saps your strength and your body’s reserves are exhausted at some point. Some breastfeeding mothers then reach their limits. If the baby is also lying in the family bed or in the parents’ bedroom, the partner or partnership may also suffer.
Another solution may be the Gordon method. This involves breastfeeding at night in a relatively gentle way.
Weaning at night according to Gordon
The US pediatrician Dr. Jay Gordon has developed a 10-night plan that parents can use to gently ensure that peace and sleep return at night – for around seven hours! The idea is to gently reduce the baby’s food intake, but not the physical closeness. This is not a problem for a one-year-old healthy child, who can easily get through the night without milk.
However, weaning at night does not mean that your child will immediately sleep through the night without a peep. There are always restless phases. According to Gordon’s training, however, these should be manageable without breastfeeding.
Weaning at night: Requirements
According to Dr. Gordon, weaning at night is only possible if a few important conditions are met:
- The baby is at least one year old.
- It is healthy.
- Both parents should be in agreement and want a change in the situation.
- You should be convinced of the “Weaning at night according to Gordon” method.
- Only wean at night if the general conditions are good: Choose a relaxed time with no important appointments, developmental spurts or teething problems.
- If you have any concerns and it doesn’t feel right, stop weaning.
Weaning at night: The first three nights
Give your child the last meal as usual shortly before the set time (i.e. before 10 p.m.). In the best case scenario, the baby will fall asleep as usual while drinking. If it wakes up after the set time and starts to cry, it can be comforted and initially soothed by breastfeeding for a short time. However, it is important that it stays awake afterwards and goes to sleep by cuddling, stroking or rocking and does not fall asleep while breastfeeding. This is also where fathers come in. As the night-time breastfeeding ritual is associated with the mother and her breast, it is often easier for the father to soothe the baby.
According to Gordon, you should proceed in this way for the first three nights and keep it up for seven hours. At the end of this period (around 5 a.m.), you can breastfeed as usual.
It doesn’t matter whether the baby continues to lie in the family bed or in its crib during this time. When weaning at night according to Gordon, it is important to lay the baby down awake and not to breastfeed to sleep.
Weaning at night: Fourth to sixth night
Weaning at night: Seventh night and following
If you have remained consistent with night-time weaning for the first six days, your child should now be soothed by stroking and gentle coaxing after a short time. But not every baby is the same. Some may fight a little harder against the new rules. From the seventh night onwards, you should no longer hold your child in your arms to soothe them when they wake up at night. Stroking, holding hands, gentle talking or humming will now have to suffice. You don’t want to replace night-time breastfeeding with carrying your baby around at night.
Please note: Even if weaning at night has worked, situations can always arise in which it is necessary to put the baby to the breast again at night or to carry him around (e.g. in the event of illness, time difference when traveling). Gordon’s advice is to comply with this and continue with his method as usual when this phase is over.