The defiant phase refers to a phase in infancy in which the child reacts strongly with defiance. Although it perceives itself as a personality, it is not yet able to separate its own desires and feelings from those of others and defies when a conflict arises.
What is the defiant phase?
The defiant phase refers to a stage in infancy when the child reacts strongly with defiance. According to the current view, the defiant phase is divided into two phases delimited by age. The first phase of defiance begins around the age of one and a half and is still relatively easy to understand. Children begin to ask their parents questions with their very limited vocabulary, which can be either affirmative or negative. “Yes” is something positive for the child; a negative is perceived emotionally as negative and may be met with defiance. In the one-and-a-half-year-old child, the left hemisphere of the brain, which is responsible for logical thinking, is practically inactive under stress – it can no longer communicate as usual. The child’s only reaction is defiance. While the first phase of defiance cannot be observed in every child, the second phase of defiance develops more noticeably between the ages of four and five. Characteristic are why-questions and questioning of adults when the child realizes that even they do not have an answer to everything.
Function and task
The defiant phase, although very stressful for the child’s educators, fulfills an important role in the child’s healthy development. The first stage of defiance occurs as the child has his or her first experience with negative feelings such as anger, sadness, or disappointment. Some children then react in the only stressful way possible at this young age: with defiance. Because their left, rational hemisphere of the brain is not yet developed enough to counter negative feelings with communication, children express their feelings in a very emotional way. Moreover, at this age, the child only perceives its own feelings and does not yet know that other people can feel quite differently at the same time. At the beginning of the second phase of defiance, the left hemisphere of the brain is already so advanced that the child can express itself better and deal with stress differently. In the second phase of defiance, learning about and understanding the environment plays a decisive role. The child asks why-questions to the adults, which, however, also lead to the child sometimes contradicting them if he still understands his environment differently. In general, children at this age contradict a lot. They try to communicate to adults that they are overwhelmed through emotional outbursts or creativity. An outburst of defiance can also occur when they cannot get their way, because children are just now learning that they cannot have everything just because they want it. The second stage of defiance is therefore also very important for the child to better understand its place in society and learn how to communicate its wants and needs in an accepted way. It also learns to persevere in order to communicate intelligibly to adults.
Illnesses and complaints
Especially during the first phase of defiance, it helps to mirror the child’s emotions when you want to calm him down again. The same thing often happens exactly the other way around during the second phase of defiance, which is much more stressful for the nerves of the educators, since the child can now already articulate himself well and thus also provoke. In some situations, the anger of an adult may be helpful in bringing an excessively defiant child back down to earth. However, if it happens too regularly that first the child and then the adult experience a tantrum, it is detrimental to the parent-child relationship and can damage the mental health of both the child and the adult. If the defiant phase becomes too stressful for one or both, a family therapist should be sought. Difficult situations during the defiant phase also arise when the child becomes violent during a tantrum of defiance. Some children hit, kick, punch, or bite at their worst. While it is possible for the defiant child to hit (unintentionally), biting crosses the line. Children signal with this behavior that they cannot handle anger beyond the defiant phase and need help, which parents often cannot give them in the cases that occur.Since children with such behavior endanger their fellow human beings, a therapist should be consulted as soon as possible, and the pediatrician can also be the first point of contact. While a child is defiant, he or she should be given a safe environment to do so, if possible. This means that as few objects as possible should be within reach so that they cannot be damaged. Above all, risks of injury should be taken very seriously during a child’s defiant phase. Sharp edges or trip hazards are no longer recognized by angry children and can lead to unforeseen injuries during a tantrum.
