Borderline during pregnancy

Women who suffer from borderline disease can in principle become pregnant in the same way as other women. However, especially during pregnancy, psychological/psychiatric treatment is extremely important for women with borderline disease in order to avoid possible harm to the unborn child. Especially the tendency to substance abuse, for example the use of drugs or the consumption of alcohol, can be a great danger for the unborn child.

During and also shortly after pregnancy, there are significant hormonal fluctuations which can often lead to mood swings and emotional outbursts even in healthy women. Patients with borderline disease tend to have strong and unstable feelings even in the non-pregnant state, so that these feelings can increase significantly during and shortly after pregnancy. This is another reason why regular care is necessary in this phase.

It is also necessary to discuss with the treating physician to what extent a pregnancy is possible under drug therapy, as some psychiatric drugs should not be taken during pregnancy as they can harm the unborn child. However, discontinuing the medication can lead to an increase in the symptoms that can occur with borderline disease. Therefore, it is very important for women who are affected to talk to their doctor in detail before a planned pregnancy.

Borderline and relatives

In principle, dealing with borderline victims can be very stressful. Relatives are often unsettled because they are unable to classify the impulsive outbursts of the sufferer and have to know how to deal with strong emotions. There are often abrupt changes in mood and associated changes in the behaviour of those affected, which are difficult or impossible for relatives to understand.

In most cases, relatives of a borderline sufferer are much more relative in order to balance out the intense moods and thus ensure a constant state of calm. It is important, however, that out of concern for the affected person, no co-dependence develops in which one neglects one’s own needs in order to take care of the borderliner and make him or her happy at one’s own expense. Some tips can be very helpful for relatives to keep in mind:

Recognize and respect your own limits.

Even if it may feel selfish at times, you don’t have to be there for the person concerned 24 hours a day, but you should certainly put your own needs first. – Also negative thoughts and feelings are quite natural and should be allowed. – Do not try to understand the impulsive behaviour and mood changes of the other person.

If you are not affected by borderline yourself, you will not be able to understand how the disease feels, even if you are a relative. – Do not force the affected person to do anything or stigmatize him or her because of the disease. The desire for professional help, such as a psychologist, must come from the affected person himself and cannot be forced upon him.

Have a lot of patience. The disease can be treated, but it will never be completely cured and will play a role in the life of both the patient and the relatives for a lifetime. As the relatives of a borderline patient, it is often difficult to accept the emotional fluctuations and the inability to enter into adequate relationships, to accept them and to recognise them as an independent disease.

It is particularly important that the relatives of a borderline patient seek help for themselves and exchange information with other relatives in self-help groups or internet forums. This helps enormously to reduce their own pressure and fear. It is also very important not to feel guilty or think that you have failed yourself.

Furthermore, as a relative of a borderline patient, you should try to convince the patient to see a psychiatrist and a psychologist, because as a relative you alone cannot cope with the situation and especially with the illness of the patient. Here it can also be helpful to have a relatives-patient-conversation with the help of the psychotherapist in order to better understand the borderline patient and also to know how much one can do as a relative and where a limit has to be set. In many borderline patients, in addition to emotional outbursts, self-harm often occurs.

Here it is important to drive the patient to the emergency room of a hospital and have him or her treated there. Under no circumstances should the relative react hysterically or panic. Even if it is very difficult, it is still important to try to act as rationally as possible without forgetting the necessary medical measures. Even if it is difficult as a relative of a borderline patient, it is still important to try to act rationally and with a cool head even when the patient is suffering from anger attacks.