Probably every parent wants strong children who believe in themselves, express their needs without fear and go through life with open eyes. “For a child to become a self-confident personality, it needs a lot of warmth and security, attention and care, but also encouragement and incentive,” knows Karin Schreiner-Kürten, a qualified psychologist at the AOK Federal Association. For a child to become full of life and self-confident, it must be sure of its parents’ love and affection. “Support your child and give him or her confidence,” advises Karin Schreiner-Kürten. “Give your child the feeling that he or she is valuable and unique – this will strengthen his or her self-esteem.” In addition to parents, educators, relatives and friends can do a lot for a child’s positive development.
Do not forget to praise
Praise and recognition are also important. “Highlight small successes and seize on mishaps as an opportunity from which the child can learn something,” advises the psychologist. To make it feel basically accepted, adults should never judge the child’s person, but always give feedback on its behavior. Instead of saying “you’re bad,” for example, it’s better to say “it’s not okay for you to throw your toy on the floor.”
At the same time, parents should not overprotect their offspring, but allow them age-appropriate freedom in which they can discover their creativity and make their own experiences. When exploring, playing and moving independently, the child can get to know himself and have his first sense of achievement.
Accept opinion
“Every child must also learn to defend his or her own point of view and thus accept resistance – this shapes self-confidence,” says the psychologist. Parents should accept his opinion and let him participate in family decisions. At the same time, every adolescent must learn to accept rules. After all, a child who has every wish fulfilled does not learn to do without.
This developmental deficit leads to low frustration tolerance and can prove to be a serious disadvantage later in life. According to Schreiner-Kürten, “People with a low frustration tolerance are far more at risk for escaping into addictive behavior than others who have learned to do without once in a while.”
Don’t give up
Parents should also be aware that they are an important role model for their daughter or son. “For example, anyone who sits in front of the TV for hours on end themselves will not look very credible if they want to ban their offspring from watching TV,” explains Karin Schreiner-Kürten. “It is better to set a good example.” Among other things, this also applies to dealing with alcohol.
The way parents resolve conflicts among themselves is also crucial for the child’s later behavior. Encouraging also means demanding. “Don’t give up too quickly if your son or daughter doesn’t dare to do something. Be patient if the child is afraid to jump into the water at the swimming pool, for example,” recommends Karin Schreiner-Kürten.
