Female Narcissism: Hidden behind Perfection
The term narcissism is often mentioned in connection with megalomania, striving for power and arrogance. Male names such as that of former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi usually come up as examples of well-known narcissistic personalities. But narcissism does not only affect men. It can also affect women. Narcissism in women, however, manifests itself differently than in men.
Experts basically distinguish between the covert and the overt form of narcissism. Men more often show an open form of narcissism. They are convinced of their magnificence and openly display this. In women, narcissism functions more through their appearance and attractiveness. And since female narcissism often occurs covertly, it is not always recognizable at first glance.
The psychotherapist Bärbel Wardetzki has intensively studied the form of female narcissism. She describes narcissistic women as characterized by strong contrasts: perfect appearances on the outside, but depression and emptiness on the inside. Fantasies about one’s own magnificence serve as protection against insecurity and feelings of not being good, pretty, or lovable.
Female narcissism: symptoms
Female narcissism thrives on recognition and admiration by other people. Those affected often attribute positive experiences and successes to their appearance or superficial values. They cannot imagine receiving appreciation for their person alone. Narcissistic women also have very high standards for themselves. Many are dominated by the fear of not living up to these standards.
Female narcissism: consequences and accompanying disorders
When severe, narcissism can greatly impair women’s quality of life and have serious consequences. There is a fine line between personality trait and disorder. As soon as the affected person suffers from narcissism and its consequences, therapeutic treatment should be considered.
For women with narcissistic personality disorder, critical remarks are not only hurtful, but a real threat. This is because self-esteem depends on the facade. As soon as the mask crumbles, they feel lost. Growing older or a separation from their partner can plunge them into deep crises. Depression and anxiety disorders, but also eating disorders and addiction problems often occur in combination with female narcissism.
Female narcissism: burden on the family
The inner split between grandiosity and inferiority is also reflected in the behavior of a narcissistic mother toward the children. Often one child is idealized and another devalued.
Whether daughter or son: Narcissistic mothers either do not recognize the child’s successes at all or only when they improve their own image, such as graduating from school. The child is supposed to serve the narcissistic mother to maintain the facade of the perfect wife and mother. Love is only given to these children if they conform to the mother’s ideas.
Regardless of what the children go through or experience, it is always all about the mother. This type of emotional abuse is usually hidden from outsiders. The mother may show herself as loving and concerned to neighbors, friends, or relatives. At home, however, the narcissistic mother conveys to the child that she is a burden.
A narcissistic mother is unable to recognize her own mistakes. Admitting mistakes would call her grandiosity into question and thus threaten her self-image.
The aforementioned problems within the family that female narcissism can cause are also evident in narcissistic fathers.
