The jealousy delusion, similar to other delusions, is characterized by the subjective certainty that it is just so and not otherwise. The delusional person cannot be dissuaded from this opinion even by attempts at clarification. He cannot distance himself from his misconception, so that these pronounced delusions often necessitate the use of medication.
What is jealousy delusion?
A jealousy delusion is spoken of when the jealousy takes on pathological proportions. In this case, the affected person is convinced that his partner is cheating or deceiving him. Even if there is no proof or evidence that the other person is unfaithful, he is convinced of it. Pathological jealousy may also occur in association with schizophrenia, paranoia, and alcoholism. The jealousy delusion is characterized by the fact that the affected person experiences a situation completely differently than a healthy person. He develops obsessive fantasies at a trivial occasion or even without any occasion. In addition, tendencies to use violence often occur, especially in men.
Causes
Jealousy delusion, which belongs to the delusional disorders, often occurs together with mental disorders, for example, schizophrenia and paranoia, but alcoholism is also a common cause. In the latter, various factors can contribute to the development of a delusion, for example, the defensiveness of the partner, marital problems resulting from the alcohol problems, feelings of guilt and limitations in terms of potency. Alcohol-dependent people often use the delusion of jealousy to pass the blame and dismiss it from themselves. It is also not uncommon for a lack of self-confidence to be the reason for the exaggerated jealousy. If the jealous person does not find himself lovable, he usually does not believe that the partner loves him sincerely. As a result, there is a constant fear of losing the partner. Negative experiences from the past also play a role. If infidelity occurred in previous relationships, a jealousy mania can develop. Experiences of loss from childhood can also contribute to this and must be worked through, for example in psychotherapy. A depressive symptomatology is also a favoring factor for the development of a pathological jealousy. This makes it clear that the jealousy mania is usually accompanied by an underlying disorder that must be treated.
Symptoms, complaints and signs
Typical of all forms of diagnosable delusion, the jealousy delusion is accompanied by an inability to step back from one’s point of view. The thought of a partner’s possible infidelity becomes so dominant for sufferers that they become obsessed with this fear in their thoughts. This leads to a change in behavior, which, among other things, undermines the basis of trust in the partner. Thus it happens that personal objects of the partner are examined by the affected person in order to find alleged evidence. Also the constant controlling of the activities by control calls or constant wanting to be there belong to it. At the same time, an explanation of the facts is not sufficient for the person affected by jealousy mania. Even when it is clear that his jealous paranoia lacks any basis, he does not back away from his point of view. This can lead to a lowered inhibition threshold regarding the use of verbal and physical violence, which in individual cases can also lead to strong physical violence with fatal consequences towards the partner. The affected person himself puts himself into a permanent stress situation due to his delusion. Psychosomatic suffering, such as headaches and digestive problems, can be the result. Signs of the jealousy delusion are a failure to acknowledge facts regarding the partner’s fidelity. The idea that a partner might be unfaithful becomes so crucial that more and more actions and conversations revolve only around this one issue. Fellow sufferers and the partner himself are suspected of a clever cover-up or plot when, in fact, it has already become apparent that the sufferer’s fears are not true.
Diagnosis and course
In order to make the diagnosis of jealousy delusion, some questions help, which should be answered honestly, as they indicate a pathological jealousy:
- Do you think about your partner’s possible infidelity several times a day or hold it against him or her regularly, including name-calling?
- Does this cause more arguments?
- Are the partner’s personal belongings, such as cell phone or bag, searched for any evidence?
- Is the partner rarely left alone, forbidden to meet with friends, for example, or spied on?
- Are control calls made?
- Are other people questioned about the whereabouts of the partner?
Anyone who answers yes to several of these questions should consider whether a jealousy mania is present and it may be appropriate to seek out a jealousy consultation or psychotherapist. This is very important, as pathological jealousy can sometimes take on serious proportions. It involves much more than “just” breaking up, and the quality of life is significantly reduced by constant jealousy. Pathological jealousy can become destructive, which is not without danger. After all, jealousy is the number one motive for murder worldwide. Pathological jealousy manifests itself in constant suspicions, feelings of fear, manipulation, and loud arguments and quarrels, even violence. Pathological jealousy can also end in depression. The aggression, which is initially directed against the partner who is supposedly cheating on one, can also develop into aggression against oneself. This can lead to physical consequences, for example:
- Headache
- Digestive problems
- Eating and sleeping disorders
When should you go to the doctor?
A jealousy delusion, as opposed to harmless jealousy, is always a reason to see a doctor or psychologist, because excessive jealousy can lead to uncontrolled actions. It is true that the boundaries between increased jealousy and delusion are fluid, but unlike the delusion of jealousy, increased jealousy is still accessible to an objective reality, while the delusion of jealousy only takes one’s own distorted view of things as a standard and denies everything else. Affected persons then believe rock-solidly that they are being cheated on by their partner, even though there are no signs whatsoever to confirm this assumption. They rather see it as a clever camouflage. With some this goes so far that they even suspect conspiracies, if reference persons assure them credibly that there is no reason for their exaggerated jealousy. Such cases are anything but harmless, because people who always and everywhere suspect cheating by their partner are under constant tension and tend towards their partner to aggressive outbursts up to physical violence and in the worst case to murder or manslaughter. Often, a strongly developed sense of inferiority and a pessimistic underlying mood is behind delusional jealousy, combined with a great fear of loss, which may result from childhood or previous relationship experiences.
Treatment and therapy
First of all, it is important that the affected person recognizes that a jealousy mania is present, that is, that his jealousy is exaggerated. Then an attempt can be made to counteract the pathological disorder. To do this, it is important to regain independence and to stop making one’s life dependent on one’s partner. Measures such as searching personal things like cell phones and clothes, control calls, a spying after must be avoided. If the jealousy continues and it cannot be managed alone, it is possible to visit a jealousy consultation or a psychotherapist to clarify the problems and work out solution strategies. In addition, it is important to strengthen one’s own self-confidence. However, treatment often turns out to be very difficult, since the affected persons usually feel completely in the right and do not consider themselves to be ill. In many cases, it makes sense to take special medication. If the jealousy mania occurs in combination with alcoholism, a withdrawal must also take place. For successful treatment of the jealousy mania, it is always important that the affected person recognizes that his jealousy has nothing to do with the partner, that he himself is responsible for it.
Outlook and prognosis
The prognosis of jealousy mania is tied to the patient’s willingness to change. In addition, factors such as the personality of the affected person as well as his environment must still be taken into account.The best prospects for recovery are for people who can deal with their behavior openly and self-reflectively and are capable of criticism. As soon as they take advantage of therapy and have an understanding as well as stable social environment, there is the possibility of working out solutions together. In case of existing suffering due to the jealousy mania, the behavior can be adapted and optimized step by step to the needs of the affected person as well as the partner. Reactions are practiced in training sessions and tried out in everyday life. In cooperation with the partner, changes can be achieved in this way and trust can be built up. If the affected person lacks insight into the illness, his prognosis worsens. In the case of a narcissistic personality or strongly controlling behavioral traits, it becomes difficult to improve the situation. In many cases, without treatment, the symptoms increase. Relationships often break down and further mental illness can set in. In addition to loneliness and isolation, there is the threat of depressive disorders or an anxiety disorder. Obsessive-compulsive behavior or eating disorders would be possible consequences that contribute to a further deterioration of the situation.
Prevention
Strong jealousy is always poison for the relationship, especially if it is a jealousy mania. So that it does not come so far in the first place, can be prevented own jealousy. This includes the following possibilities:
- Maintain partnership
- Provide a good mood
- Pay attention to beautiful experiences for two
- Take time out as a couple
- Choosing a hobby of their own and likewise meeting others outside the relationship, thus maintaining independence
- Talk to each other, even about fears, wants and needs.
- Avoid control measures
- Give partner respect, recognition, affirmation, affection and love.
- Keep sexuality alive and be faithful
Aftercare
Possibilities or measures of an aftercare prove to be relatively difficult or hardly possible in most cases of a jealousy mania. In the first place, the disease should be completely cured so that there are no further complaints or complications in the life of the affected person. Whether the disease is easy to treat cannot be universally predicted. In most cases, those affected by the jealousy mania are dependent on the help and support of friends and their own family and partner. In this context, especially intensive and detailed conversations about the disorder are very useful to alleviate the symptoms. If these conversations do not help, professional treatment by a psychologist is usually necessary. In serious cases, relatives can also persuade the patient to undergo treatment in a closed institution. When taking medication for the treatment of jealousy mania, care should be taken to use the correct dosage and to take the medication properly and regularly. As a rule, the disease does not reduce or limit the life expectancy of the affected person.
What you can do yourself
The affected person himself is usually not aware of his madness, but feels completely in the right. For the partner and the social near field it is therefore important to recognize the disorder as such and to react correctly. Under no circumstances should pathological jealousy be played down. Anyone who consistently observes behavior in their partner that is unfounded or inappropriate to the actual situation should bring this up immediately. Since delusional persons are usually completely convinced of their own position, it is important not to be unsettled and to maintain one’s own perspective. The partner suffering from the delusion must be asked to change his or her behavior, if necessary with the help of a doctor or therapist. If the ill person repeatedly refuses to do so, a separation will be necessary. Under no circumstances should one persevere out of pity with a partner who is seriously mentally ill but completely unreasonable. Affected persons who realize that they are displaying a degree of jealousy that is delusional should, as a first step, try to stop all compulsive acts. In particular, they must refrain from searching handbags or cell phones and secretly stalking their partner.Anyone who is unable to give up such behavior patterns urgently needs to seek professional help. The first point of contact is the family doctor, and a psychotherapist should also be consulted.
