Definition: What is jealousy?
Most people have felt jealousy or envy at least once in their lives. This is a very strong and above all painful emotion, where a certain fear or insecurity arises that one might lose the full affection or attention of another person and thus receive less recognition and love than before. It is used to express jealousy with regard to people and envy with regard to things.
These feelings are quite natural and are even present in infancy and in the animal world. However, if the feeling of jealousy gets out of hand, problems can arise, because usually the cause is often more in ourselves than in the other person. Sometimes it is also called a positive feeling, because it helps us to recognize when someone is important to us.
Diagnosis – What is normal and when does it become too much?
There are three different degrees of jealousy. The mild form is the normal emotion that is supposed to serve as a warning signal for us. In the medium jealousy, a clear strain is felt and it is only possible to keep the feeling under control with great effort.
However, if someone is suffering from severe jealousy, it quickly happens that any reason, no matter how irrational, is sufficient to feel confirmed in one’s own assumptions. Of course there are situations in which the feeling of jealousy is completely justified. However, if the feeling takes up more and more space and overshadows hobbies or social contacts, this could be a sign that jealousy is taking over.
Often, the “person of desire” feels uncomfortable and constricted after a period of time, as strongly jealous people often become dependent on a person whom they admire or whose affection they desire. If the privacy of the other person is violated by monitoring and searching his or her cell phone and computer, this also speaks to excessive jealousy. Online there are numerous self-tests on the subject of jealousy.
While such tests can be a good way to reflect on your own thoughts and actions, the test result does not necessarily have to be true. It is important to talk about your jealousy with the person concerned and to find ways to control it or get rid of it – if necessary with professional help from a psychotherapist. A more reliable source than online tests is the partner or friends and family who, either on their own or on request, honestly describe their view of things. Depending on the situation, increased jealousy can also be normal, which cannot necessarily be reflected in a test.
