In many cultures, it is the most natural thing in the world for children to sleep in their parents’ bed. In Western industrialized countries, this joint sleeping, also called co-sleeping, is less common. But this practice is also on the rise in Germany. Find out here what to consider when co-sleeping.
How does co-sleeping work?
With co-sleeping, babies and toddlers sleep in the immediate vicinity of their parents or one of their parents. In a narrower sense, this means that infants sleep with in the parents’ bed. This constellation is then called a family bed. In most cases, mother and child have direct physical contact. Another variant is a side bed, which is placed next to the parent’s bed. A side part of the bed rail can be folded down or dismantled, so that direct parent-child contact is also possible here.
What are advantages of shared sleeping?
The mother can instantly attend to her child’s needs without having to get up. This allows for comfortable breastfeeding as needed and quick soothing when the baby wakes up. Sleep lab studies show that while babies sleeping with their mothers wake up more often than babies sleeping alone, they also fall back asleep faster and without much crying. In addition, infants sleeping with their mothers drink at the breast twice as often at night and for almost three times as long as infants sleeping alone. Accordingly, babies sleeping with their mothers consume one-third more calories at night, which has a positive effect on both weight gain and the immune system.
Does co-sleeping affect child development?
Many voices see in co-sleeping the problem that children would not become independent because of the constant proximity. Others emphasize that co-sleeping strengthens the parent-child bond and provides security. There is no evidence in research that children who sleep alone are later more socially competent or independent than children who sleep with their mothers. In fact, a U.S. study proved that the latter are better at being alone during the day and are more open to new situations than those who sleep alone.
Isn’t co-sleeping dangerous?
It’s every parent’s nightmare: sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Some see it as the biggest risk factor of co-sleeping. But the opposite is true. The exact cause of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome is not yet known. However, suffocation by external smothering is not related to it. Instead, researchers suspect that babies can no longer control their breathing due to unfavorable influences of their sleeping environment. Shared sleeping counteracts this by supporting a stable heartbeat and breathing rhythm for the infant. In addition, it has been observed that mothers instinctively reposition their infants and return them to their backs when they turn onto their stomachs. This helps reduce the risk of SIDS, as prone positioning increases the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.
10 Rules for safe sleeping in the family bed
As many benefits co-sleeping brings, you should nonetheless pay attention to a few things to ensure your baby sleeps safely with you. Therefore, we have compiled 10 co-sleeping rules for you:
- Do not use a mattress that is too soft or uneven, and do not use a waterbed.
- Remove thick skins, blankets and pillows and stuffed animals from the bed.
- If you are overweight or suffer from sleep apnea, your baby should sleep in a side bed.
- Place your baby on his back.
- If you are a smoker, your baby should not sleep next to you. Their exhaled air contains nicotine and pollutants.
- Do not consume sedatives, drugs, alcohol or other substances that impair your consciousness.
- Secure the bed so that your baby can neither fall out nor slide in anywhere. It is best to place your child between you and the wall. Fill mattress gaps with blankets, etc.
- The lying surface must provide enough freedom of movement for parents and child.
- Siblings and pets should sleep in another room.
- The temperature in the bedroom should be between 16 ° C and 18 ° C. It is warmer in the family bed than alone in the crib. So do not dress your baby too warm.
Interview: Three questions for Dr. Herbert Renz-Polster
Dr. Herbert Renz-Polster is a pediatrician and associate researcher at the Mannheim Institute for Public Health at the University of Heidelberg. Dr. Renz-Polster’s latest guidebook, “Sleep Well, Baby,” has made it to the best-seller list of parenting guides. In our short interview, he answers three questions about co-sleeping.
1. How long or up to what age should children sleep with their parents?
Dr. Renz-Polster: For me, the general rule for such questions is that no one “should” and no one “must.” Who should also determine that? Families do it very differently, partly because the conditions are different for each family. For example, if there is an older sibling, some children find it easier to move out of their parents’ bed because there may already be someone in their new home. And children also want to have their own nest at some point – some sooner, some later. Often this starts at the age of three or four, when proud reports start coming in: “I’m sleeping in my own bed now!” And, “Now it’s just daddy with us who can’t manage it yet!” Basically, though, it’s always like this: no one ever brings their boyfriend or girlfriend into their parents’ bed.
2, How do I end co-sleeping as a parent?
Dr. Renz-Polster: In many families, you talk about it and ask the child what he or she thinks. Maybe he gets to design his own sleeping place, or build a bed with his parents? It will certainly also help him to know that if I don’t manage it right away, I’ll be allowed to slip back in at night. It’s always good if there’s not a lot of rope pulling – coercion and pressure don’t work. It’s much more helpful to know that in a family where people are friendly with each other, the children do the same as the grown-ups: They do their best. We all know that not everything always works out the same way.
3.What is Re-Co-Sleeping and how do I best deal with it as a parent?
Dr. Renz-Polster: What is meant here is that children have slept in their own bed before and then come knocking on their parents’ door again. This happens because maybe something scary is happening in life, because the children are sick or otherwise stressed. It’s all the more important to ask why their “bonding rubber” is so tight right now, and how, as a family, we can work together to provide some relaxation and emotional security there.