For most, it begins insidiously: the nights of love in the early days turn into waking nights of screaming children and periods of too little sleep after way too much work in middle age. If you look ahead from there, you see hair loss, hormonal imbalances and waning passion pass before your mind’s eye. Not a nice idea – and not necessary either. But sexuality in menopause is often still a taboo subject for men and women. Since the 1960s, menopause in women was considered a rather pathological event, the search for an appropriate therapy began.
Hormone replacement therapy
Researchers found what they were looking for in hormone replacement therapy, which was intended to compensate for the natural estrogen deficiency. The goal of the therapy was to reduce hot flashes and malaise and to reduce the risk of atherosclerosis and, consequently, heart attacks. In the meantime, hormone replacement therapy has come under heavy fire because of the proven increased risk of cancer, and affected women have to look for alternatives. One possible way out is treatment with so-called phytohormones, extracts obtained from plants. But this therapy is not without controversy.
For men, it’s called anti-aging
While women have to grapple with the latest results on hormone replacement therapy (HRT), menopause in men, with all its consequences, is mainly subsumed under the heading of “anti-aging.” The main issue here is men’s declining libido.
Viagra and Co. have become a broad field of activity for “men’s doctors” who want to combat not only wrinkles and hair loss with anti-aging. It is undisputed that healthy nutrition and exercise increase vitality and quality of life in all walks of life. Conversely, the different aspects of menopause also offer the opportunity to deal with his sexuality and that of his partner in a completely different way.
Also a new freedom
The absence of menstruation signals the end of fertility. But if you no longer have to worry about contraception, you can enjoy your sexuality more freely. Especially in long-term partnerships, a great deal of familiarity with each other has developed by the time of menopause. The partners know each other very well: the best starting point for a new discovery with each other and a good opportunity to get rid of old habits and find each other anew.
The ability to orgasm is not affected by menopause, even if the reaction time increases somewhat after menopause. However, this phenomenon affects men and women equally. The decisive factor is how the partners perceive themselves and what image they cultivate of themselves.
Self-confidence makes sexy
Of course, fatigue, listlessness and hot flashes do not whet the appetite for wild sex. But touching, tenderness and intimacy do not depend on hormone status. Attitudes toward sexuality are much more important than physical appearances. In numerous sexual psychology studies, for example, men have been asked about how they would like their partner to feel. And across all ages, men indicated that they valued confident women with a positive attitude toward their sexuality.
Important: closeness and familiarity
Lived sexuality as a sign of closeness, familiarity and affection for each other is the key to a lively partnership and a positive approach to oneself – as long as this sexuality is not overrated. It is crucial that men and women become clear about what they want. And that is why there are partnerships and people for whom sexuality no longer plays a role in and after menopause.
Talking with your partner or a trusted listener should be a cornerstone of the “burden or pleasure question.” Both men’s and women’s physicians can help get conversations started or steer the way to the right person to talk to. The extent to which medications – whether natural or synthetic – can help must be discussed with the attending physician. Helping people to help themselves is by mouth – not by stomach.
