Borderline and sexuality

Borderline syndrome is also of great importance for the sexuality of the affected person. Since the sufferers have a disturbed ‘ego-identity’ (in the sense of a lack of self-perception), they do not really know themselves or their sexual preferences. Borderliners often have difficulties in distinguishing between ‘you’ and ‘I’, resulting in the phenomenon of so-called ‘projective identification’.

In simple terms, this means that a borderline patient can tend to take over his or her counterpart. In terms of sexuality, this means that he simply takes over the sexual fantasies of his partner without really knowing whether he feels aroused or repelled by them. Furthermore, borderliners tend to use sexuality as a kind of valve.

The instincts that are filtered and controlled by the intact ‘I’ (a component of personality, first described by Freud) in psychologically healthy people are simply lived out in borderline patients in the absence of this structure. It is therefore not surprising that the patients are very often characterized by risky sexual practices and frequently changing sexual partners. There is therefore an increased risk of sexually transmitted infectious diseases, such as HIV, because those affected often do not protect themselves sufficiently during spontaneous sex with casual acquaintances or strangers.

The borderline disorder is a disorder that occurs more frequently in young people. Usually the first symptoms appear in childhood and develop with increasing age. As a rule, the full picture (with anxiety, depression, suicidal tendencies etc) develops between the ages of 16 and 18.

Long-term studies have shown that the symptoms of a borderline disorder decrease significantly in old age (between the ages of 40 and 50). Approximately 70 – 75% of those affected are women, although it should be remembered that men with this disorder probably go to the doctor less often on the one hand, and on the other hand are in prison more often because of possible offences due to aggression. The probability of suffering from a borderline disorder in the course of a lifetime is 1-1.5% in the total population.

Causes

The causes that cause a person to fall ill with Borderline Syndrome have not yet been clearly established. However, since the disease is counted as a personality disorder, it is obvious that the cause(s) often lie in the period of personality development – i.e. childhood and youth. Of course, a certain genetic predisposition can favour the development of a borderline syndrome.

Particularly if first-degree relatives are known to have mental illnesses, there is an increased risk. Three components are repeatedly mentioned which make a disease of the borderline syndrome likely: First, the loss of a parent (e.g. through separation) or other unfortunate experiences in childhood, such as emotional coldness in dealing with the child. If parents cannot empathize with their children, this can have an impact on their development as an early negative relationship experience.

The second component that can hurt a child or adolescent in a way that may result in borderline disease is non-physical abuse. This includes emotional or verbal abuse, i.e. permanent disregard or neglect of the child, but also constant ‘beating up’ or insults. The third component is physical abuse and sexual abuse.

The figures on how many borderlines were exposed to various traumas in their childhood fluctuate. According to some surveys, as many as 50% of borderline patients were exposed to physical violence in childhood. 70% of those affected were sexually abused, of which in half of these cases the abuse was committed by a family member. 25% of borderline patients have even had an incestuous relationship with a parent.