Introduction
Depression is by far the most common mental illness. To cope with depression, it is essential to involve the environment, especially the partner and family. What exactly the caregivers can and should do, however, is usually unclear to them because there is a lack of understanding of the illness and the needs of the patient.
What can I as a partner do to support you?
First and foremost is the understanding of the disease. Because depression is actually an illness, not just a mood problem. It is therefore important to interpret and accept the partner’s symptoms as such, even if they seem nonsensical from one’s own perspective.
Depressive patients cannot simply “pull themselves together” or recognize the absurdity of their symptoms through logical thinking. Therefore, one should talk about the feelings and burdens, not make any judgements and give the partner the opportunity to share the bad thoughts and thus alleviate them. Also the reduction of everyday activities can relieve, because depression often lacks the drive for even the smallest tasks.
The partner can also try to distract the affected person with joint activities and hobbies and thus break through his depressive thought patterns. What helps in detail depends very much on the patient. The partner should therefore ideally be advised by the doctor or therapist and involved in the treatment.
Should I leave my partner alone or try to actively support him?
This depends strongly on what the person concerned tolerates in the situation. In general, sinking into the depressive thought spiral should be avoided and an active interruption of the thought patterns through distraction and joint activities should be aimed for. However, if this is only an additional burden due to the patient’s momentary lack of drive and joy, the urge to be active can worsen the symptoms in this situation.
If the patient therefore accepts active support, this is certainly beneficial. If he rejects it, one should not try to persuade him to do anything. In such situations, the only way to help is to respond to current thoughts and concerns if the person concerned wants to share them.
In general, the most important principle is to take the depression seriously. Although the extent of the moodiness is often incomprehensible, the underlying worries and problems are understandable. With understanding, one can therefore respond to the person affected and not leave him or her alone in the situation. Whether this is achieved through joint action or calm depends on the patient.
