What is the best way to behave when my partner is aggressive?
Here too, understanding is essential. Those who carry such a vice on their shoulders, as depressive patients do, are understandably more easily irritated and react with aggression, especially when they do not understand their situation. Of course, these are not justified for the partner.
Instead of getting upset about it and reacting irritably himself, the partner must be aware that the mood is merely a symptom of depression. The aggression is therefore to be seen as an expression of the illness, not as a personal attack. This does not mean that the partner has to accept all moods and insults.
There are many strategies to defuse such a situation. The partner could ask about the current worries and thus talk about the cause of the disgruntlement. If the person concerned is aware of his aggressions and actually knows that they are exaggerated, one can also try to address him directly and ask what the real problem is.
With patients who are too loaded, sometimes it only helps to leave them completely alone for a while. It is only important not to take aggression personally and to be aware of any potential danger. If the affected person appears as if he/she wants to harm him/herself or someone else in his/her aggressions, the emergency service should be called immediately.
What is the best way to behave if my ex-partner becomes depressed after the separation?
This is a very difficult question. A separation is seldom amicable and in most cases one person is left behind injured. A depressive disgruntlement over a certain period of time is completely normal in this situation and passes by itself in a healthy person, so there is no immediate need for action.However, if the ex-partner is psychologically preloaded and loses his most important reference person through the separation, a tangible depression is quite possible.
This is, as already described, a real illness which must be treated professionally. Although the former partner is often the first point of contact for many reasons, e.g. to reverse the separation, to cause the other person a guilty conscience or to be able to reconnect with the other person in some other way, only a psychologist and/or psychiatrist can help in such a situation. The only sensible thing to do in such a situation is to find professional help for the ex-partner despite pity and own feelings of guilt.
