What should one do for oneself?

Besides understanding the illness of the relative, it is important to do a lot for yourself. This means not giving up hobbies, meeting friends, simply escaping from everyday life from time to time. Of course it always depends on how much contact you have with the patient and how much you suffer from it.

This is especially true for people who are particularly close to the patient and who may have long-term contact with the depressed person. Furthermore, it is important to recognise one’s limits and to maintain them. It does not help anyone if you overtax yourself and end up suffering from depression.

What can relatives do when they are overwhelmed themselves?

Depression is a disease that can burden not only the affected person but also relatives for weeks or months. Relatives should therefore learn that they do not have to sacrifice themselves. It can also help if you do something for yourself from time to time, such as meeting friends or relaxing.

If you are overwhelmed by the situation, you do not have to grow beyond your limits. Friends and family may be able to take over part of the burden and help. Social-psychiatric services are also contact points when help is needed. They offer counselling but also active support for patients and their relatives with mental health problems.

Can relatives become depressed themselves?

Anyone who suffers from depression or is prone to depressive moods can also be drawn into the same low mood by the depression of a relative. Most relatives do not develop the full clinical picture of depression, but after some time they also experience more and more negative feelings such as frustration, helplessness, feelings of guilt or anger. Therefore it is important not to exceed one’s own limits, because nobody benefits from this.

If there is a threat of being overwhelmed, it is advisable to seek help, whether through the social environment or professionally. For relatives the situation is also not easy, which can easily be overlooked. It is therefore all the more important to do something good for yourself from time to time so that you can feel better without feeling guilty.

The feelings of the relatives

Many relatives are not only sad and desperate or have compassion, but are also sometimes angry and irritated. They are annoyed that help is not accepted or that the person concerned negates himself or herself and everything else. Needs are not sufficiently met, especially in partnerships, and sometimes it is simply difficult to always understand everything and just be there.

This is how these negative feelings often arise and very often relatives feel bad about it. But it is right, important and normal to have such feelings. You should stand by them and not be too strict with yourself. However, one should refrain from blaming the patient, because this will certainly not improve the situation.