Sexual listlessness can affect both sexes. With increasing age, the risk of no longer feeling a desire for sexuality increases; statistically, women are affected more frequently from the age of 45.
What is sexual aversion?
A sexual listlessness always affects the whole person in its body-mind-spirit unity. Doctors are also increasingly taking a holistic approach to researching the causes. Lack of sexual desire or a permanent lack of sexual desire are widespread in industrial societies. Sexual physicians also assume that there is a large number of unreported cases, because many people shy away from going to the doctor out of misconceived shame. However, consistent research into the causes can often lead to a solution to the problem. Frustration can set in over time, because those affected often resign themselves to their condition, although they long inwardly for love, attention and tenderness. Loss of libido is the most frequently diagnosed sexual disorder in the Western world. Sexual desire can come to a complete standstill. Erotic thoughts or fantasies also become fewer. If the affected person is in a couple relationship, the symptom of sexual unwillingness or frigidity can quickly become a stress test. Without sex therapy, relationships often break down.
Causes
A sexual listlessness always affects the whole person in his body-mind-spirit unity. Doctors are also increasingly taking a holistic approach to researching the causes. The search for the causes of a loss of libido often resembles detective work. Psychological, but also serious physical causes are possible. Asexuality as a congenital sexual disorder plays only a minor role. These people feel no desire for sexuality or physical closeness. In the vast majority of cases of sexual aversion, it is the symptom of other diseases or side effects of medication. Serious physical diseases such as diabetes or cancer quite often lead to sexual disorders in their course. All hormonal diseases also quickly lead to an imbalance of the sex hormones and consequently to sexual unwillingness. Especially thyroid dysfunction in the sense of underactivity can cause libido or potency disorders. Other common medical causes of sexual aversion include dialysis, lowered testosterone levels in men, anxiety disorders and depression.
Diseases with this symptom
- Frigidity
- Menopause
- Renal failure
- Endometriosis
- Heat stroke
- Heart failure
- Anxiety disorder
- Hypogonadism
- Erectile impotence
- Hypothyroidism
- Hormone disorders
- Diabetes mellitus
Diagnosis and course
For an accurate diagnosis of sexual disorders, which includes sexual unwillingness, usually requires interdisciplinary collaboration between different disciplines. General practitioners, gynecologists, urologists, and psychotherapists can then work closely together to make a diagnosis and develop a treatment plan, which should always be strictly based on the individual cause. The diagnostic procedures for sexual disorders that have been tried and tested in Germany have previously been used successfully in the USA. The first diagnostic step is always a thorough questioning of the individual or a couple about the current situation. The experienced sexual health professional can already draw valuable diagnostic conclusions from the anamnesis alone and adjust the further procedure accordingly. For women, the standard questionnaire is the Female Sexual Function Index. This standardized list of questions enables the physician to precisely assess or fluctuate sexual desire over a defined period of time. In-depth physical examinations of the primary and secondary sex organs follow. If a sexual aversion or loss of libido is not treated, the sexual disorder tends to become chronic. Over time, therapy then becomes more costly and difficult.
Complications
Complications that can occur with sexual aversion are primarily psychological. Especially in a relationship, a strong pressure of suffering often arises for the affected person. This is triggered not least by the impaired sex life with the partner. The partner does not necessarily have to react with incomprehension.Many patients suffering from sexual aversion judge themselves and feel guilty towards their partner. The result is often irritability, suppressed aggression and frustration. If the relationship partner additionally reacts with reproaches, quarrels and a divisiveness in the relationship are pre-programmed. Even with treatment, a possible complication is that the affected person cannot relax and is afraid of a relapse. Escaping this vicious circle is difficult without psychological support. In addition, there may be other complications due to the underlying disease. For example, the causes are often accompanied by fatigue and tiredness, which in the worst case can develop into depression. In addition, pain during sexual intercourse can be another problem. To prevent this, it is important to talk to your partner and a doctor about the problems. Honesty and transparency are paramount to prevent complications. It is not uncommon for these to significantly lower the enjoyment of life.
When should you go to the doctor?
Sexual unwillingness can have various causes such as stress or hormonal changes and usually regulates itself again. A doctor should be consulted if the loss of libido becomes a burden or the partnership suffers. If the symptoms persist for a longer period of time and may even be accompanied by physical symptoms, medical advice is also required. The same applies if the sexual unwillingness is associated with depression or if there are social causes such as occupational or family stress. A discussion with the gynecologist or therapeutic counseling is also recommended in the case of a loss of libido after a traumatic experience. Sexual unwillingness after taking medication should be discussed with the doctor. In most cases, libido increases again as soon as a change is made to another preparation. Alcoholics, diabetics and patients with a neurological disorder should clarify libido disorders immediately, as it may be an accompanying symptom of the underlying disease. If the cause is unknown, sexual activity can initially be observed. If there is no improvement after several weeks, medical measures should be taken.
Treatment and therapy
Treatment of libido, potency, or sexual dysfunction should be consistently cause-related. So if the cause of a sexual unwillingness is to be sought in the physical area, then the underlying disease must first be treated. Only then can sex therapy take place in the form of conversation sessions or couples counseling. If the cause lies in years of taking birth control pills, stopping them can lead to the disappearance of sexual unwillingness. As a substitute, the gynecologist can also prescribe low-dose male sex hormones and often achieve amazing results. A hormone analysis of the blood can also be useful for men; if the testosterone level is low, the missing hormone can also be substituted in this case. Men unfortunately naturally suffer from a relative lack of testosterone with increasing age, which can lead not only to a loss of libido, but also to erectile dysfunction. Disturbances in blood flow, sensitivity or hormone balance as the cause of libido disorders can be well treated today by drug therapies. Partnership or psychological problems should be treated by trained sex therapists in so-called revealing sessions. Successful treatment of sexual disorders is also indicated by the disappearance of general listlessness, lack of drive or fatigue.
Outlook and prognosis
Sexual aversion can have physical or psychological triggers. In most cases, a physical reason for sexual listlessness is easier and quicker to resolve. For women taking hormonal contraceptives, the lack of libido may already be due to this. Changing the contraceptive allows sexual desire to return. Other medications can have similar effects – on both sexes. If the triggering medication can be discontinued, it takes days to weeks for sexual desire to return. A hormonal imbalance is also conceivable. Since the treatment of such triggers in itself takes several weeks, it should be expected that the libido will also only return to normal afterwards.The prerequisite is that hormone replacement therapy or another form of treatment succeed in bringing the hormone balance of the affected patient back into equilibrium. If, on the other hand, psychological triggers are involved, it often takes longer for the sexual aversion to improve. Problems in the partnership, fears caused by pain during sex or a birth, fears of an unwanted pregnancy or unpleasant sexual experiences in the past are not easy to work through and therefore often require several months of therapy. The length of time it takes for treatment to be successful also depends on the severity of an affected patient’s psychological injuries.
Prevention
To prevent sexual unwillingness due to psychosomatic causes, a precise analysis of the lifestyle or partnership is necessary. Conflicts should be addressed and resolved at an early stage. A balanced hormone balance is ensured by exercise and a work-life balance, i.e. a good balance between the demands of work and leisure. Negative stress, stimulant abuse and obesity should be avoided, as these can prepare the ground for the development of sexual disorders.
This is what you can do yourself
Libido disorder usually has more than one cause. Affected people who suffer from their sexual unwillingness should definitely see a doctor to have possible physical causes clarified. Furthermore, those affected should avoid all factors that are often not solely responsible for the lack of libido, but nevertheless regularly contribute to the lack of desire. Counterproductive factors include too little sleep, constant job-related stress, cigarettes and excessive alcohol consumption. A healthy diet and sufficient physical exercise improve the general well-being and thus also have a favorable effect on the libido. If the listlessness is accompanied by fatigue and general exhaustion, there may be a nutrient deficiency. Very often the iron level is too low. Those affected can then integrate iron-rich foods into their diet or turn to dietary supplements. In severe cases, treatment by a doctor is necessary. In women, sexual lack of desire is normal even months after the birth of a child and is no cause for concern. Women who use hormonal contraception and suffer from sexual lack of desire for a longer period of time should temporarily switch to another contraceptive method and observe the development of their libido during this time. In naturopathy, “detoxification cures” are often advised for sexual lack of desire in order to improve the general condition and to stimulate the libido again. Relaxation techniques such as yoga or autogenic training are also said to be helpful.
